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Archive for September, 2012

So… life with MS is not always easy to live with.. There are days, where things are just getting harder to deal with.. Not being able to walk long distances, energy to do simple house chores, or even cook dinner.
It was starting to drain me… Emotionally, and physically.. I was drained..
Recently, I had one of those screaming/shouting moments where I voiced how much I hate having MS and what it does to me the other day to my husband. I sat in bed, and did one of those sob shaking, hiccuping, runny nose cries where is just pours out of you. and I mean… pours out of you…
I vented every hate and every pain and every fear I was having at that moment. I screamed my darkest fears/thoughts, I didn’t hold back.. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let it all come out…
I admitted that I wanted to give up…. I was at that moment in the darkest corner I have ever been in, I just wanted the pain to end.. I wanted it all to end…  I was giving up…
and then the tears fell silently..
But they weren’t my tears.. They were my husbands.
He said these words to me, “I may not know the type of pain you are in, and I may not know what it feels like, but I’m living it too. I’m here with you everyday since the beginning and I haven’t left your side.”
We sat what felt like for hours, in each others arms and the tears just fell..
As he fell asleep, my mind did a lot of thinking. He was right. I am not the only one who is going through this. My whole family is. My husband, and my children see this every day. They live it too.. I was caught up in a selfish moment, where it was me myself and I….Yes I experience the pain, but they experience so much more.. and I need to remember that.. it’s not just me who suffers from MS, it’s all of us..
I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful supporting family to help me continue this never ending battle with Multiple Sclerosis…

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